No phone anymore, just chat

[Edge]

TTD Kenneth : Thank you for contacting Charter Communications. My name is Kenneth of Internet Support. How may I help you today?
Josh McNeal: Yes, when over the past several months internet problems that persist throughout the entire neighborhood are met with apathy, what does one do to resolve the issue of incompetence?
TTD Kenneth : I apologize for any inconvenience that you experienced with your internet service. I can definitely assist you.
TTD Kenneth : May I please have the account holder's name, the service address, and the phone number?
TTD Kenneth : Please let me know if you are still connected to the Chat session at this time.
Josh McNeal: (info edited out just in case, oddly enough going back over I realized I mistyped my address) I have recently had Charter come out, and they did absolutely nothing but give me a new modem which did nothing like it always does. My friends who live less than a block away are suffering from the same issues, and a similar problem happened a cojple months ago.
TTD Kenneth : Thank you for the information.
TTD Kenneth : Do you subscribe to the Charter Home Networking service?
Josh McNeal: ??
TTD Kenneth : Can I please have your billing account number?
Josh McNeal: (more edit)
TTD Kenneth : Thank you.
TTD Kenneth : May I please have your PIN? If you don't have it, please provide your answer to your Secret Question. In the absence in any of these, please provide your Security Code that is found on your billing statement.
Josh McNeal: 0000 security code
TTD Kenneth : Let me inform you that the personal identification number (PIN) is our preferred code of authenticating a customer. Kindly provide me with your preferred four-digit PIN now for the reset.
Josh McNeal: 0000
TTD Kenneth : Thank you.
TTD Kenneth : I see that you have our networking service.
TTD Kenneth : Josh, I regret to inform you that there is currently an outage in your area. We don't have an estimated time of repair, but we will be calling you as soon as the outage situation is resolved. If you are not around to take the call, we will be leaving a message in your voicemail.
TTD Kenneth : To recap, you were having an issue with your internet service. The outage report has confirmed the cause. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Josh McNeal: I coulda told you that two weeks ago. See, this is the problem with you. Every time I call, I tell you that there is a problem in the area, and yo usay there isn't. The next day, I call again and lo and behold, there IS an outage.
TTD Kenneth : Your current balance is $250.22 of which $88.19 is past due. Please pay the past due amount immediately to avoid service interruption. Your next bill is $370.38. Your bill is due every 24th of the month. The last payment posted to your account on 02/21/10 is for the amount of $125.11. Your statement is printed on the 4th of every month. Your billing cycle is from 03/14/10 to 04/13/10.

You can pay your bill online for free. If you're having problem paying online, you can use the automated payment (IVR) also free of charge. Just dial 1-888-438-2427 then press one. We can process the payment but with a $1.99 service fee. Which do you prefer?
Josh McNeal: Na, ill pay when you fix my shit
TTD Kenneth : Thank you for choosing Charter Communications. Answers to frequently asked questions and self-help options can be found by looking in the "Customer Help" menu at http://www.charter.com. If you have further questions, please chat with us again. Our Chat Support is now available 24/7. Have a great day!

[Reservoir Dog]

Looks like an automated chat program.
I especially liked this part: Please pay the past due amount immediately to avoid service interruption.

A word to the wise, even though by the time it happened it was past the point of being an issue, don't swear. They don't like that. But, kudos on not paying them. I wouldn't either. I mean, why pay for a service you aren't getting.
I would still call them and explain that decision, otherwise it'll be a pain in your ass later on when they sick the collections agency on ya.

Good luck.

[Edge]

I have to call them about every two weeks, and lately I've been using more than enough swear words to fill a George Carlin special.

Basically I got sick of calling them, and saw this neat little tool on their site. I tried to make them actually type something real, to see exactly who or what I was chatting with. In WOW, if you ticket a GM, once you get a response you are talking with a REAL person. THAT'S customer service, not this shit.

[Corey]

Edge: Hey, fix my internet.
Charter: Pay your fucking bill, first.

[Edge]

Nope, they agreed to provide a service to me in exchange for money. They can't provide that service, they don't get their money.

[A.L.]

I got Cablevision to pro-rate my bill once for not getting the higher channels for two weeks. But I really had to stroke 'em for it...

[Iconoclast]

Sounds about as efficient as the cable service around here. Whoddah thunk that having a monopoly on service would equal high rates and shitty service? They're shaking in their boots a little with Google building a massive server farm and hinting that they may provide ultra-high speed access. Suddenly Cox Cable seems a little more helpful.

[Edge]

Well, that $250 I owe is for two months. That's cable TV (expanded only) and 10mb internet. Still overpriced, but just making sure you didn't think I was paying $250 a month.

[Reservoir Dog]

Sounds about as efficient as the cable service around here. Whoddah thunk that having a monopoly on service would equal high rates and shitty service? They're shaking in their boots a little with Google building a massive server farm and hinting that they may provide ultra-high speed access. Suddenly Cox Cable seems a little more helpful.

Two things. An unregulated monopoly. At least with regulated monopolies there is the threat of fines for shitty service and rates are controlled.

Google might be building a server farm and have hinted at high speed access, but I don't see them investing in the wired side of the infrastructure. They already have too many tentacles in the wireless business. Wireless might be the future, but the technology still has a way to go before they can provide the same speeds wirelessly. And it would be just another monopoly eventually.

[Edge]

New one. It was short, but there's a nice contradiction there:

TTD Eyel : Thank you for contacting Charter Internet Support Department. My name is Eyel. How may I help you today?
Josh McNeal: I recently upgraded my computer from Windows Vista to Windows 7, how do I reapply Instalan?
TTD Eyel : Hello, Josh. You need to download the InstaLan again since you have a new Operating Syste.
TTD Eyel : *System
Josh McNeal: Ok, where do I go to do that?
TTD Eyel : You need to insert the InstaLan CD again and redownload it on your PC.
Josh McNeal: I don't think I received one when it was installed before.
TTD Eyel : Josh, I apologize, but I can no longer assist you any further on this issue here on my end. Please call our Second Level Tech Support at 1-888-438-2427 for this matter. Thank you.

I like how he tells me to download it, like there's somewhere where I can do that, then tells me the complete opposite.

Yeah. Let's travel back in time. To the day where it took the tech over two hours to install my wireless because he was an incompetent retard. Asking ME questions like it was my fucking job. Now, I gotta get these morons out here AGAIN? Fuck.

[The Game]

When they do, be sure to note the difference between download and install.

[Reservoir Dog]

I like how trying to simply retrieve the correct software become a tier two support issue.

Schmucks.

I have to say the last time I called my ISP for tech support, they were quite good. Basically I had to go into the modem and configure it myself. No big deal, I do stuff like that all the time at work. What impressed me was the guy on the other end was a well spoken American who didn't treat me like a 70 year grandmother trying to turn on the computer for the first time. It's rare. The next fuckstick who tells me to toggle the power as though I haven't tried that 6 times already is getting an earful.

[Floating on Raft]

I like how trying to simply retrieve the correct software become a tier two support issue.

Schmucks.

I have to say the last time I called my ISP for tech support, they were quite good. Basically I had to go into the modem and configure it myself. No big deal, I do stuff like that all the time at work. What impressed me was the guy on the other end was a well spoken American who didn't treat me like a 70 year grandmother trying to turn on the computer for the first time. It's rare. The next fuckstick who tells me to toggle the power as though I haven't tried that 6 times already is getting an earful.

I had the same experience with Comcast. In fact, the person that picked up the phone was in a call center that they have in Michigan. I wasn't even aware that they had a call center here.

[Edge]

I like how trying to simply retrieve the correct software become a tier two support issue.

Schmucks.

I have to say the last time I called my ISP for tech support, they were quite good. Basically I had to go into the modem and configure it myself. No big deal, I do stuff like that all the time at work. What impressed me was the guy on the other end was a well spoken American who didn't treat me like a 70 year grandmother trying to turn on the computer for the first time. It's rare. The next fuckstick who tells me to toggle the power as though I haven't tried that 6 times already is getting an earful.

I had the same experience with Comcast. In fact, the person that picked up the phone was in a call center that they have in Michigan. I wasn't even aware that they had a call center here.

Nice. Far as I know the call centers for Charter are out of country.

For what it's worth, I don't even need the Insta-LAN program. My brother's computer connects directly to my modem (wirelessly anyway), so the program was apparently useless.

[Goatass]

The Charter guys I deal with are located in Wisconsin...